


Making out to spite someone

by QueenBee333



Series: Is it really just the money? [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Blushing, High School, Homophobic Language, Humor, It’s All Fun, M/M, Making Out, Money, Pretend Relationship, Rough Kissing, confident tweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:08:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24743608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenBee333/pseuds/QueenBee333
Summary: “Oh please, I’ve got this, I don’t know about you though.” Tweek said, he was the actor of the two, he would make it very convincing despite his growing nervousness.“What?” Craig said confused, he knew what he was doing he came up with the fucking plan.“You suck at acting man! Are you sure you want to do this?” Craig scoffed, of course, he wanted to do this. He wanted that console more than anything despite feeling his heart rate speed up.“Yes now shut up, he’s com-“ Tweek cut him off by grabbing the strings of his chullo hat, pulling his face towards his and smashing their lips together.Tweek and Craig need money, thankfully being in a fake gay relationship comes with perks. So Craig devises a plan to get the money they need, while pissing Cartman off. The only problem is that they’re going to have to get physical.I suck at summaries, it’s all fun I promise!!!
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Series: Is it really just the money? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790284
Comments: 11
Kudos: 138





	Making out to spite someone

“Babe, we need to get that.” Craig said in his usual deadpanned voice. He and Tweek were at the video game store just casually browsing, when Craig saw the console the two had wanted for ages, up for sale. He pulled his fake boyfriend of six years over to the display table and Tweek opened his mouth to speak.

“Aren’t those like at least two hundred?” Tweek looked at Craig with his green eyes as he pushed his short, slightly wavy hair to the side. Craig would never admit it but he thought Tweek was pretty attractive, with his sharp features and his tall, lean build. Craig looked back at the model and pointed at the price.

“Yeah, but look it’s on sale.” It was for sixty percent off, this was the deal of a lifetime for the two teens. Tweak sighed and spoke up.

“Well I don’t have any money saved, do you?” Craig frowned, usually money wasn’t a problem for them, on account people always gave it to them to show support for their “relationship”.

“Fuck, I figured we still had some “relationship” money left after the last time.” The last time involved them pretending to go out on Valentine’s Day, but really pocketing the money, using it to buy alcohol and watch Red Racer. It was a nice night in Craig’s opinion.

“Ugh, this sucks!” Tweek said obviously irritated. Craig began thinking of ways to get money, he and Tweek have a system when it came to receiving money, one they would have to change in this case.

“What if we pretend to break up again?” Craig suggested, usually they would break up at five-month intervals and get back together after a week. It would usually bring in a hundred dollars each, but the town would be depressed for days.

“No we already did that last month to get that new cage for Stripe, we need to space it out!” Tweek was right, they couldn’t rely on a holiday or fight, they needed something more.

“Okay, we just need some new material. What if we have someone do something homophobic towards us, then people will give us pity cash.” Not the best idea Craig’s had, but it could work.

“Yeah but everyone in this town loves our relationship way too much to be homophobic towards us!”

“Who is the most bigoted person in South Park?” Tweek gave him an incredulous look at the fact Craig had to ask.

“Cartman, obviously.” The blond answered without a hint of hesitation.

“We just need him to do what he does best: be incredibly offensive.” Tweek grimaced at the idea of involving Cartman, but he trusted Craig and knew he had already devised a plan.

The plan was simple: at lunch tomorrow Cartman will go to his locker to pull out his usual, high cholesterol lunch. But Tweek and Craig will be blocking his way until Cartman gets caught using homophobic language, simple as that. The only problem was, the two were going to have to kiss long enough to annoy Cartman. It won’t be the first time they’ve kissed, every now and then they would do a slight peck on the cheek in public to show they’re capable of more than just holding hands. But they were going to have to be convincing and it will be a lot longer than a simple peck on the lips.

“Okay, I see him walking out of class, are you ready?” Craig asked while positioning Tweek and himself in front of Cartman’s locker. Tweek’s nervous expression was replaced with an annoyed one.

“Oh please, I’ve got this, I don’t know about you though.” Tweek was the actor of the two, he would make it very convincing despite his growing nervousness.

“What?” Craig questioned, he knew what he was doing he came up with the fucking plan.

“You suck at acting man! Are you sure you want to do this?” Craig scoffed, of course, he wanted to do this. He wanted that console more than anything despite feeling his heart rate speed up.

“Yes now shut up, he’s com-“ Tweek cut him off by grabbing the strings of his chullo hat, pulling his face towards his and smashing their lips together. Craig was shocked, as he felt his eyes go wide. He didn’t expect the blond to be so eager, but Tweek was an actor he was used to pretending. Craig closed his eyes and began to kiss Tweek back, placing his hands on the blonde’s waist. He was trying not to think about how much he was enjoying the feeling of Tweek’s lips. He just thought: “fuck it” and resumed making out with the blonde. Cartman then walked up to the couple with a clearly annoyed expression.

“Hey fags, take your boning somewhere else, some of us have to open our lockers.” Tweek and Craig didn’t respond, they still had their lips together while pretending not to hear the fat ass. Tweek then slid his tongue into Craig’s mouth while running his fingers through his dark hair. Craig was enjoying this a lot more than he should, he thought as he pulled the blond closer. Cartman’s face grew red with anger and began to speak.

“I’m serious I don’t want my locker covered with your fucking gay semen!” A crowd began to form, watching the angry boy yell at the way too enamored gay boys making out. Kenny even had his phone out to record the couple for “later”. Tweek gently removed his lips from Craig’s and began nibbling on his ear. Craig fluttered his eyes while tilting his head back, it felt fucking fantastic, Tweek was being fucking fantastic. The blonde then whispered in his ear which made Craig shiver.

“I’m going to try something, just don’t freak out.” Before Craig could react Tweek pushed him directly up against Cartman’s locker and moved his hands to grip the dark-haired boy’s firm ass. Craig was initially surprised and felt his cheeks burn, he was definitely starting to feel aroused. Tweek resumed the kiss with even more intensity causing Craig to moan. Cartman was fucking livid and looked as if he was going to kill the two.

“WHAT THE FUCK, YOU FUCKING HOMOS! STOP SUCKING EACH OTHER’S FACES AND MOVE!!!” He loudly yelled, that was the final piece of the plan. Tweek and Craig slowly pulled their blushing faces back with a satisfying smack, both of their lips were swollen. They looked at the fat boy with shit-eating grins as they heard the strong footsteps of PC principle.

“ERIC CARTMAN! Did you just use a term that is incredibly offensive to the homosexual community!?” The principal loudly exclaimed as he interrogated the fat boy. Tweek replaced his cocky grin with a solemn expression and Craig followed the suit. Cartman pointed at the couple who were still holding onto to each other by the waist, pretending to be ashamed.

“They were the ones practically humping against my locker!” Cartman screeched. The crowd that formed around them began to disperse at the sight of the principal. P.C principal then looked at the couple.

“I’m sorry PC principal I didn’t know us expressing our love was wrong.” Tweek said with an apologetic voice and puppy dog eyes while Craig just covered his mouth to prevent a smirk. Tweek was definitely convincing but Craig knew it was all bullshit and the look on Cartman’s face was priceless. Tweek then unlatched himself from Craig and crossed his arms to give the allusion he was distraught. P.C saw this and immediately reassured him.

“No boys it’s Eric who is wrong here. Eric, you are to have detention for two weeks and give both Tweek and Craig fifty dollars.” Cartman looked so angry the couple thought he would implode! He then pulled out his wallet and shoved a one hundred dollar bill into Craig’s hand before storming away. Tweek could tell Craig was going to laugh so he grabbed Craig’s arm and pinched in hard. The dark-haired boy grimaced but Tweek gave a quick kiss on the cheek to hide it as the principal kept speaking.

“I’m so sorry boys, I guess some people are still bigoted after all these years.” Craig nodded and wanted to leave before they got another lecture on consent, he then spoke up.

“It’s fine, um, come on Tweek let’s go express our love somewhere else.” Craig laced his hands with Tweek’s and began to walk. P.C principal smiled and let the gay couple walk out of school despite it being noon and still had three hours left of school. As soon as they were outside Tweek laughed with a victorious grin on his face. Craig looked at the blonde boy before cracking a small smile of his own. This fake relationship make be weird, but it definitely had its perks.

“Did you really have to grab my ass?” Craig asked a little flustered. Tweek looked at him and shrugged, a slight blush forming on his cheeks. He really didn’t have too, but he wasn’t regretting his decision.

“What it worked! And don’t act like you didn’t like it.” Craig’s face was now completely red as he avoided eye contact and kept walking. He did like it a lot, not that he would ever admit it.

“Fuck you.” Tweek laughed, he made the stoic Craig Tucker blush, this day was getting better and better. They walked to the video game store and bought the console, they even had money to spare.

“Hey with the extra money we got let’s get some KFC.” Tweek suggested as he felt his heart pound in his chest.

“Alright, let’s go babe.” Craig said while looking at Tweek’s lips. He definitely wanted to do that again.

**Author's Note:**

> Because of all the positive feedback I’ve received I’m making a part two in the “Is it really just the money?” series. It’s gonna be part of a collection in case people want to do their own interpretation of the ending but if not it’s gonna be up in a couple of days! Thanks so much for the love y’all it’s my first time ever writing and I feel so happy!!!


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